Do you remember the first time you saw &/or felt rain? How about with snow? Or, the sun rising in the early hours of a quiet, peaceful morning? Or, the vibrant, wondrous colors of a sunset?
I don’t remember the answers to these questions myself but found myself thinking about it as I looked up at the window one day & saw raindrops rapidly running down the glass. I found myself wondering what it must be like to witness or feel raindrops for the first time in someone’s life, or even my own. Was I scared? Was I amazed? Random drops of water, sometimes lightly or sometimes heavily, just falling from the sky … Did my first experience happen with me inside a house looking at it & someone telling me it’s called “rain”? Was I afraid to walk out into it & feel it on my skin? Or, was I just walking about one day & a drizzle happened?
While thinking of all of this, I found my thoughts zooming in on my golden child, Lucy. A few days ago, she was so alert upon hearing a truck rumbling down the road & then later on in the night, she saw headlights from the neighbor’s yard & came hurrying to my side with her tail down, seemingly scared. She’s about a year & a half, & easily scared for reasons neither my husband nor myself can explain logically. My only thought is that perhaps it’s the first time in her life she’s witnessing certain things in certain situational contexts. Anyway, it’s while thinking about her & her reaction that I found myself wondering how certain things might feel & appear to her. Hearing thunder or seeing lightning streak across the sky for the first time in her life … was it exciting or frightening? Amazement or terror?
One thing I know is that I love the fact that she can run to either my side or my husband’s for protection. That she trusts us & feels safe with us. The sincerity in her actions & eyes, her innocence … it’s something that isn’t around much especially in adults anymore. We grow up thinking we know everything, afraid to admit we don’t know something & can’t be wrong. Why? Life is a really long thing, taken day by day, so learning new things & accepting the unknown shouldn’t be something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. When & how did so many of us turn into know-it-alls upon growing up & lost our childlike innocence? Not just the innocence, but the wonder & curiosity of finding beauty & inspiration in life? We can blame it on our jobs & bills & lack of money & resources (I have & still do) but I think the only certainty I’ve come to through writing this is that upon growing up, our excuses to be miserable & unhappy just got more lengthy & creative. The bills & miseries will always be there. But the beauty & adventures that come & go with the seasons won’t always be guaranteed to us.